Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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