I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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