Kiss
Puke
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
