NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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