I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
