is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
