ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
