we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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