How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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