Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
