I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
