You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
