why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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