Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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