I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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