Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
