dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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