Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need a beard to bite.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
