Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
