It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Randomize
