Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
