Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm both gender and math confused
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
