I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we made out on top of his cat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
