The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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