I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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