you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
