Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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