never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
