Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I need water and some morals
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
