dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
