it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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