There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
