can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My life is pants optional.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
