New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
