pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
