I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just want to make out with him forever
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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