"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dignity is for republicans.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
