I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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