my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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