There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
