I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
