this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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