Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
