dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
