the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
