Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
