I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
