I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
