I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
