its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
