sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
